A Mantra, Though More of a Country Song

I'm giving up drinking for the first time
I'm giving up that much of myself to you
'cause it seems to me no help
When I'm drunk, I'm not myself
And now I'll never have to say these those things again to you.

I'm learning to climb up from the bottom
If there's anything to learn, I'll learn to live
'cause if someday when you're not here
if there was something you've made real clear
it's that there's nothing more important than the love you give.

Now it seems to me that others can have their drinks and have their fun,
and while others have learned their pace, I could never stop at one,
It's a long and sad excuse
How my head obeys abuse
to myself, It's not a choice of 'walk or run'.

There are two sides to every story and two sides to this kid
One side lives the life that his parents never did
But one side can't tell the difference
between death and pure existance
and it's the fight between those sides which can't be hid.

So I'm giving up drinking for the first time
I'll be giving much more now of myself to you
Because I'll have to learn to deal
with what myself and others feel
and so I'll be giving much more now of myself to you.